The Rhino says…

Ever have a late night romp on the couch or find yourself otherwise exhausted from a late night out campaigning? It takes every ounce of strength to just catch your breath? How about after a hot, steamy bath at the end of a long day's work? Wouldn't it be nice to have a big, burly...I'm talking 350lb former NFL lineman...valet that you could summon over with the ring of a bell? Someone that has enough tact to handle walking in on the most awkward of situations and keep his cool? An all-assuming, ever-lurking assistant capable of scooping you up ever so gently and carrying you off to bed?

 

Well, I have found mine. Meet Peaches. I have always dreamed, even fantasized, of being able to obtain enough wealth to afford having someone like him around. Peaches is the latest addition to The Rhino Says.... family. Please give him your undivided attention when he speaks. Actually, you don't have to. He commands attention whenever he enters a room. Don't be afraid. He is paid very well to hold confidential information through the statute of limitations. Let me tell you a little more about him and some of the reasons I hired him.

I found Peaches after an exhaustive 3 year search. None of the popular job boards had someone with his skills available. Believe me, I tried them all. Peaches did a 5 year bid in the late 80's for killing a man with his bare hands. As he tells the story, it was all a big mistake. Peaches used to moonlight as a bouncer for local strip clubs. One night, a few rowdy patrons decided they weren't especially turned on by a certain club's talent of the evening. The name of the club shall remain nameless to protect the innocent. Anyway, this group of co-workers decided to hail bags of (you guessed it) peaches at the stage. This is not allowed in this or any other establishment I can think of. Peaches lost it. He blanked out he says. What I found interesting was not what he did but why. One would think he was protecting the employees from harm but no. This large, kind-hearted man has a soft side for the fuzzy fruit. In a temporary rage, Peaches hurled one of the participants into and through the exit door; breaking his collarbone and causing internal bleeding. The man later died at an area hospital from complications. Peaches was hauled in to jail that night. Down on his luck, he could only afford a public attorney. With his plea for manslaughter he got a 5-20 sentence. He was released early for good behavior. To this day, he still can't stand to see someone abuse fruit; especially peaches. So when you're around him please be mindful of this one quirk he has.

Peaches is tasked with taking care of my day-to-day needs. Everything from scheduling meetings to making dinner for 10. He must be prompt as having me wait for anything is not allowed. He is a quick study from what I have seen so far. Now, I've been called eccentric somewhat. I occasionally like to have pancakes and fried chicken at 2 a.m. I also believe in supporting the local talent and the businesses where they're employed. When I'm not planning my next venture, I like to enjoy myself out on the town. Peaches is my driver, Head of Security, wingman and all around Mr. Fix It. Whenever there's a problem, Peaches is right there to solve it somehow. I don't care how. Sometimes I'm like Nike: "Just Do it". Things have been working out so far. He hasn't run into any problems he hasn't been able to solve.

Now, in reality, there is no Peaches. The pic is actually the guy that was on the Biggest Loser. Hope he doesn't sue me for using his pic. If he can't take a joke, oh well. Wouldn't it be nice if he really did exist though? Who wouldn't want their own Peaches? I know I would.

Forgive racism and forget it. It just breeds more and more competition. You can't judge a book by its cover, the same way, you can't tell what's in a woman's heart by looking at the color of her skin. Reminds me of a wedding I was a part of once. The groom always made sure when he talked to about his fiancée to his parents that they knew how much he really cared about and loved her. Of all the visits over the summer get-togethers and holidays gatherings, his parents never knew she was bi-racial. His folks always asked about her parents and he always replied: "They are divorced." he never thought about the race/color issues because he always saw love whenever they were together. His family was so surprised when they made the long trip to the wedding. More than half of the audience was of the opposite color. To further compound things, her father had married two women. Both of the opposite color. Imagine the surprised look on the faces when faced with this reality. As you read this, does it really matter what color the bride or groom were? Racism is a sickness for all that decide to wish it upon themselves. For generations, this illness is taught and handed down. Stop the illness. Stop the madness. Do whatever you can to not let it spread. Love one another, then fuhgetaboutit.

I believe in business. Any kind of business. By trade, I'm a computer guy. I am self-taught on most of the things I know. I support small business. That's why I built Woosah Domains and Woosah Hosting Solutions. The company offers a full range of tested and proven web marketing. Everything from acquiring a domain name and web hosting to website building and SEO marketing. If you have a website but don't particularly care for the customer service of the big hosting companies out there, give us a try. I believe in the legal profession. Knowing the law, both business and personal, is almost a must these days. What you don't know can and will hurt you. This is why I started Law Referral Service. This service helps local bankruptcy attorneys find you and help provide you with the information you need to make informed decisions.  If you don't know the kind of help you need, it's always helpful to have someone with that legal expertise close by to contact with your questions. I believe in charity. That's why I founded 2 nonprofit organizations to focus on providing assistance to global causes (Change is Life) and local community athletics (I Play 4 Free). Together, these entities help raise awareness for causes that touch us the most; catastrophes and underserved families. If it truly takes a village to raise a child then our efforts and participation in these types of organizations will go a long way to making our world a better place. I encourage you to get involved today. By day I am employed by a Fortune 500 IT company who's product solutions and services helps businesses accomplish their goals. By night, I provide solutions that help small business owners gain a larger online presence. The products and services I have created have stemmed from the problems I have run into while trying to help others. If you have an idea that solves a real problem, you have yourself a business. My group of companies can help with all of your business needs. We leave you to run your business. That's what you do best. We can help simplify your life and your business. That is my goal and my reason for starting my own company, CaBaSi, Inc. CaBaSi stands for Cause-Based Social Internetworking. I believe in you and your business. I invite you to visit our website. Mind you, I spend so much time running a business that my sites are in a state of disarray. Don't let that discourage you from contacting us. A lot of others just like have not. We are a serious company with serious goals. I believe in business and charity so I have put my money where my mouth is. What are you doing?    

What is the real meaning of the holidays? Some will say it's another exploitation of the retail industry. Others will say the holidays are for the kids. And yet there are some who continue to permeate the myth of Santa Claus. What say you? I say it's all of the above. Do something different this year. Instead of giving gifts to those you have neglected to acknowledge throughout the year, I say give gifts. Give gifts of your undivided attention. Read your junk mail. Call a distant relative instead of sending an e-card. Make a donation anonymously to a charity (may I suggest The Charity Angel or the Change is Life Organization are good ones) to feel good about yourself long after the holidays are over. Save the Guilt Claus. Donate to a blog like this one (another shameless plug) and keep the spirit of free speech alive. These are just a few suggestions. Whatever you decide to do this holiday season, do something different. It will make you feel good about yourself. Guaranteed. Change is life. Please support my sponsors.

Three great water cooler topics (that also go well when preceded by the words: "Hey what's your favorite...") 1.  Music 2.  Food 3.  Sports Two things you should refrain from ever  bringing up in the workplace: 1. Politics 2. Religion Personally, I'm OK with either category in the workplace. No matter which one you pick, you're bound to learn something. Change is Life, Please support my sponsors